Responsibility is stupid. I should be a politician: in politics, the definitions of responsibility are:

1) Something the other party has to worry about;

2) Something the guy who gets elected after me has to worry about; or

3) Something I have to worry about only after I get caught doing something stupid.

For the rest of us normal people, responsibility always has to be bullshit that we always have to worry about at all times, every day. Otherwise, we’re irresponsible idiots. I could complain about how we therefore have irresponsible idiots running our country at every level of government, as we are run not by leaders, but politicians, but honestly, I don’t care that much anymore.

Call it age (although I’m a long ways away from even hitting 30), call it apathy (although I do care, and I do have a lot of ideas on how to make things work), or call it hopelessness (maybe that’s the one, actually); but at this point in my life, I say if you can’t beat them, join them. And you can’t fight City Hall, much less any politician within.

So, maybe I really should become a politician… eh, then I’d have to shave. Fuck that. I’d still rather have to learn how to consistently be a responsible adult for myself than completely change who it is that I am for the sake of fooling a bunch of knucklehead voters into maybe picking me to be some bullshit alderman or city councilman. Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s 7:30am; it’s time for me to go have ice cream for breakfast, than take a four hour nap before work.

I thought this was funny, so now I’m going to post this funny thing that amused me. Because this is what I do.

What lies beneath this text is a video of Steve Ballmer trying to sell us Windows 1.0, while doing his best used car salesman impersonation.

Technically this isn’t Steer Wrestling; it’s another, similar sport, known as Chute Dogging. Steer Wrestling involves riding a horse at top speed, chasing a young steer down, diving off of the horse, and landing on the steer before wrestling the cow to the ground. Which means that not only is this one ridiculous un-sport, it’s two of them at the same time.

Which brings up the important questions:

1) Is this really a sport?

2) How the hell did this happen?

3) Can I make up my own sports now, too?

I suppose it’s good form to mention that I updated an older post, as new developments have arisen in that story; including the culprit’s identity revealed! And I was the one to do it! A Ruchador exclusive.

Anybody who says bloggers can’t be investigative reporters can eat my khraam.

The internet has proven, once again, that if you bring up any topic wherein there are two options, people will become stark-raving lunatic fanboys over it.

Even Circumcision.

I mean come on. Seriously, assholes? You internet fuckwits have somehow found reason to argue incessantly and produce millions of “Loose Change” style youtube videos about the “evidence” that somehow proves that you can actually be right or wrong about what somebody else is doing to their cock? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CARE?!?!?!

What possible intellectual or even emotional stake could you have in whether some random jackass on the internet is cut or uncut? “Oh well it’s a big deal to us and everybody has the right to their own opinion!” Oh? Is that so? Well since I don’t see any rule anywhere that anybody on Earth has a right to their own opinion–no matter how completely fucking asinine it may be–I’m going to jump out ahead of this problem, on behalf of the people who are of sound mind, who are sick of accidentally landing on pages containing your flame wars and youtube battles:

NEW RULE: Fanboys DO NOT have a right to their own opinion.

They abused that right, became cartoonishly retarded ass-hats about their “beliefs,” and the part of the species that still has control of the human parts of our brains has had enough of you mindless fucks. When you learn to stop arguing over how each other’s dicks are cut and clean the feces off of your own, you may join the rest of the population, and have the right to take a stance on something again. But the minute you go overboard fanboy asshole on us again, that’s it; you’re over. Two strikes, you’re out; three strikes, I personally come to your house, tie you to your bed, and kill you via malnutrition by feeding you nothing but diseased donkey semen for ten days.

For those who want to know what I’m so angry about, here’s one of the many amateur “proof videos” created by circumcision vs. uncut fanboys:

Otherwise, he’d need years and years of fucking therapy.

So my mother calls me today, and she asks if I have any meetings outside today. I tell her that I do, one this evening at seven. Her reply is that there’s a severe thunderstorm warning, and also a tornado watch, for the evening and most of the night. She reminds me that there was, indeed, a tornado in Brooklyn last summer, under similar circumstances.

Her recommendation is that I bring an umbrella.

I haven’t done a fucked up post in a while. I understand this. Maybe you should understand that I gave you a ten minute slideshow of the most fucked up rule 34s I could find online last time I did this shit, and appreciate that I also work.

But you don’t care; Internet vultures, you.

Well, here, check out the Echidna (Yes, like Knuckles from Sonic 3) and his four-headed penis. You heard me.

How To Give a Speech Without Saying Anything


So they have the black kid, and they have the female white kid, but no “batshit crazy warmongering testosterone junkie” old white man kid? Gee I wonder who’s behind this propaganda machine. Probably the guys who aren’t “Anti-Abortion,” but are “Pro-Life?”

Are Republicans suddenly angry that Democrats finally learned some of their own dirty tricks?

For those of you who don’t know, Sue Simmons is kind of a big deal in New York City; as she does the local NBC news. At least, she thinks she’s a big deal, because she’s a local TV anchor.

So, since I like it when people who think they’re a big deal fuck up, here’s a clip of Sue Simmons flipping out on live television last night. I bet nothing happens as a result of this slip up, making sure that the most offensive live television mistake of the decade (in the eyes of the FCC) will be Janet Jackson’s tit.

Way to prioritize, America.