(via regardless)

Scallies the world over are pre-gaming for the weekend-long celebration of my birth. Remember: if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

is when I read an old passage by a great author or poet, and it’s very obvious that they’re casually speaking about their genitals metaphorically. You want to a mind blowing experience, hook up with a writer.

squarewaves:

nevver:

15 Things You Should Know About Breasts [detail] - GOOD Blog [view all]

Hey! I live in Ohio and never even knew that.

Number 14 is frightening. Lactating male babies? I… wish I could un-read that.

(via autumnsayshello)

Holy shit—a classic. I just added this to my netflix queue. Thanks for reminding me of this one.

My birthday is on Friday. Honestly, it’s all making me feel like this.

Birdman put them niggas in a trashcan.

ocarinaoftime:

wishforme:

katiekakes2:

luminous-lu:

talking-bird:

timeofyoursong:

captaincadiwack:tenementsquare:thatgeeklover:noonecanresistmyschweddyballs:
laraabdallah:ilujkfuckyou:jo—c:ishitlegit:dropdeadplease:veganpop:liveaustyn:stay-awakexx:stayliving:intomyweb:wilsonthevolleyball:marasays:thebombyo:lovelikethiss:arethafranklin:

oh. my. god

OWNED.

lmfao…trueee

This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in all of forever. And the most painful. If only I could see a doctor for that pain.

I mean seriously… that’s a tremendously shitty photoshop job. Doesn’t she have any self-respect? Learn some blending modes or something. Jeez.

Milkmen - Men who breastfeed.

Because I wasn’t here to wish everybody a happy Ash Wednesday.